Need Advice? On Women?
November 16, 2009
“Hey,” A friend has called me. “I need some advice on women.”
“Arr…” I reply. Someone is asking me for advice on women? I am a dunce when it comes to women!
I mean, the other day at work, I had a presentation to make, so I dress up in a 3-piece formal attire, with tie and hair carefully styled to match, and this long legged blonde at HR met me in the lobby.
“Wow, Haleem, you look nice!” She whistled. She actually whistled!
Now a smooth guy would have said something like, “Well, not as nice as you look everyday!” or something equally flattering but what I could think of was “get out of my way bitch you are making me late for my meeting”. Of course I said “thank you” but that was it!!!
When I recounted it to my wife Mona, she laughed and said, “well of course. Now I can feel safe in know you will always be a faithful husband and not a player.”
“Ah,” I replied, “blessed is indeed the man who has as many women as his wife suspects!”
(Note to self: never make ‘other women’ jokes to wife again)
OK, back to the phone call.
“Er, what do you need?” I ask.
“Ok, first, I am engaged to be married…”
At this point, don’t ask me why, I burst out laughing. I mean – a guy’s getting married and he wants advice on women. HAHAHA. I just don’t know WHY I started to laugh. And of course my friend was offended.
So after apologizing to him for laughing, he finally told me what he wanted advice for.
“You see, you have met my girl friend (now fiancee). I have been with her for 2 years now. She can’t, er, cook. Do you think she will be offended if I give her a cookbook as an anniversary gift?”
…
*pin drop silence* (and he was quite serious too!)
Entry Filed under: Friends, Girls, Humour, Marital Life. .
26 Comments Add your own
Leave a Comment
Some HTML allowed:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <pre> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>
Trackback this post | Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed
1.
brok3n | November 16, 2009 at 1:36 pm
she might take it lightly and laugh it off …actually depends from person to person and how hes feeling that day =/
2.
Organica | November 16, 2009 at 3:21 pm
I know what you can get your friend for his wedding present!
A new attitude
.
3.
Organica | November 16, 2009 at 3:22 pm
On a more serious note, there is nothing wrong with a woman being the cook in the house so long as the husband pays BIG time for her efforts in toilet scrubbing, vacuuming and taking the trash out.
4.
Muslim Girl | November 16, 2009 at 4:15 pm
LOL that is HILARIOUS! I feel bad for your friend. I feel bad for men in general. They seem so confused when it comes to women.
On another note, I think it would be dumb if she was offended. She should know that it is generally the wife that is supposed to cook… it’s obviously great if the husband helps out (and necessary too at times) but you can’t expect a husband to split chores with his wife perfectly in half.
5.
Haleem | November 16, 2009 at 4:23 pm
brok3n, lol I doubt, knowing the girl in question, that she would appreciate a cook book for an engagement gift.
BTW, Do you know what I did… LOL… I actually told him to go for it. hehehe….
Organica, aww… the poor guy just wants food!
It was to my intense relief that Mona can cook, and cook well!
About chores, it depends on the couple. Now that Mona and I are both in the workforce, we find that we split our chores pretty 50-50. She cooks, I clean!
Muslim Girl, I guess I will find out soon if she’s offended or not!
There is actually one book called What Men Know About Women. It’s a best seller!
6.
'liya | November 16, 2009 at 6:22 pm
So what was your advice to him?
7.
Haleem | November 16, 2009 at 6:40 pm
Liya, I told him to Go for it!! haha I told him you should be open and communicative with your wife. LOL.
8.
Sabrina | November 16, 2009 at 8:08 pm
I bet she was on the phone telling her best friend the same thing he told you — but it was probably about fashion, and body hair. Only kidding.
Instead of him giving her a cookbook straight up like that, he should say he got it for “both of us, so we can learn to make some really cool stuff together.” That way she won’t feel like he’s totally type casting her into the typical “woman has to cook” role, unless of course, she’s totally down with that in which case, as long as their happy that’s all that matters. Side note: the men in my family are AMAZING cooks. I’m trying to keep up. I’m competitive like that.
9.
Abid | November 16, 2009 at 9:56 pm
If it;s the time of the month, then you stay the hell away from a gift like that
Otherwise, you stay the hell away from a gift like that.
10.
Achelois | November 16, 2009 at 11:03 pm
Oh, I have advice for him!
Why doesn’t he pay for cookery classes and attends them?! If he learns to cook for his wife (and for himself) she will forever love this anniversary present – and he won’t starve to death!
11.
Aafke | November 17, 2009 at 5:18 am
Suicidal idea.
He should brush up his own cooking, get a few books, try them, and find out which ones are the good ones, and get them for his fiancee as well, and casually mention how good they are, because he has tried them. Also a good way of making clear what you favorite dishes are.
Ofcourse one shouldn’t get upset when talking about cooking or body-hair, especially when you plan to spend the rest of your lives together.
On the other hand, some diplomacy is never amiss, especially when you plan to spend the rest of your lives together.
12.
nadia | November 17, 2009 at 5:20 am
At this point, this friend of yours has probably heeded your advice and has given the cookbook as present. But if isn’t too late yet, I like Achelois idea of cookery classes.
If your friend has indeed given her the book already, perhaps he can suggest her that they both learn together.
13.
masood | November 17, 2009 at 11:13 am
As Nadia said “Both Learn Together” is actually a trick to only involve her in cooking, most of the time :p
14.
Amir | November 17, 2009 at 6:13 pm
hahaha…but, ummm..what was their plans on eating once they got married? Either one of them would have to learn at some point, but a cookbook is suicide, unless she LOVES to cook and the cookbook has unique recipes.
I agree with Achelois and Nadia, to taking cooking classes together.
15.
sf | November 18, 2009 at 9:30 am
Yah, as Achelois commented, they should both sign up for cooking classes. He has been with her for 2 yrs and that subject never came up?? come on, he could have told her in a nicer way and she would have said something too about something maybe he does or doesn’t have/know and that way it would be productive without anyone getting defensive. I remember telling my husband in the beginning that am not the world’s best cook. He said he’s marrying a wife not a cook! And he wouldn’t starve to death if I can’t cook coz he would
)
16.
Haleem | November 18, 2009 at 11:06 am
Sabrina, she’s a white chick (although a bit traditional) but I don’t think she will be too thrilled if he shows up with a cookbook and the message “you don’t know how to cook”! All the more reason I suggested it. Should be fun to follow up.
Abid, HAHAHA. Well said!
Achelois, my female friends are taking this anecdote a bit too seriously!
I must have ruffled some feathers here.
Aafke, now that I think of it, it may not be such a bad idea. I mean, we are all raised here so we know the wife can’t cook ALL the time, but she should make an effort! Maybe some good will come out this, I will keep you posted!
nadia, what is your suggestion if the woman is not interested in cooking? I know some women like that. :-p
masood, bro, don’t give out the secret! You know your wife is reading this blog, right? She just commented above!
Amir, I personally don’t find cook books useful unless you try a recipe again and again until you get it right.
And may I say this, I find “white” food to be too bland. Half the time I have eaten at fancy restaurants I have had to satisfy myself later with a hot dog!
We went to the Keg the other day and the tuna was half cooked. Apparently that’s how they like it.
sf, that’s why I like arranged marriages. Then you can weed out the non cookers!
haha now I said it!
17.
nadia | November 18, 2009 at 11:30 am
Well I am an example, Haleem, because I am not interested in cooking. But I had this urge to impress my husband (who loves home-cooked meals), so I cooked. And the husband plays his part by showing appreciation, and by helping out (like chopping and peeling).
Your friend shouldn’t worry much. His wife will find her way into the kitchen soon enough, and so will he
18.
susanne430 | November 18, 2009 at 1:39 pm
“that’s why I like arranged marriages. Then you can weed out the non cookers!”
LOL…yep, put that on your list when you go out shopping for a wife
1. woman must know how to cook
Cute post. Did your friend survive the anniversary?
19.
Working | November 19, 2009 at 8:32 pm
If cooking is important to him, then he should discuss it with her, suggest they take classes together etc. But giving her a cookbook as a gift is sort of like giving a chubby person a diet book for a birthday present.
20.
Lat | November 20, 2009 at 2:34 am
Well Haleem,mine was an arranged marriage.Besides knowing a few baking recipes,my cooking skill was zero
And yet there was someone who married me and still surviving,alhamdulillah! 
I’m sure put in the right perspectives things will work out for your friend.Good Luck to him!
May the forces be with Mona where your appearance is concerned!
21.
Ex Refugee | November 22, 2009 at 2:50 pm
I’d say that this is a passive attack which could work for desis but if she is a white gal then in my experience, these people don’t like passive attacks and want to be up front about any issue.
22.
Farah | November 23, 2009 at 7:47 am
maybe she’s pretending she can’t cook so that he doesn’t expect that she’s the desi’s answer to martha stewart (just ponder that for a moment… a desi martha!). either way… what happened?
I personally undersold my ability in the cooking skills with Mr A – i mean i told him that i could cook and that i enjoyed but that i wasn’t taht great it… well – now he knows otherwise! But thankfully i made sure that Mr A could cook – can his friend of yours cook? whats that saying – about what’s good for the goose??? hehe
23.
Haleem | November 25, 2009 at 10:34 am
nadia, I also help my wife in cooking. I turn the knob, I do the tasting, I tell her if “it’s done”!
susanne430, you know, I have to ask him how it went. I haven’t seen him lately lol.
Working, LOL. That’s what I figured. But yes, I think cooking is important for him.
Lat,
Ex Refugee, I think white people are more communicative in general, yes, but a woman is still a woman.
Farah, oh you mean like the way I “cannot iron”?
24.
Specs | November 26, 2009 at 4:12 am
Hahaha, well Haleem, good to see you growing up
25.
Neena | November 27, 2009 at 11:51 am
The guy didn’t fall in love with her because of her cooking skills then why bother now? Tell him to encourage her in her career advancement so they’ve enough dough for take outs, lol!
26.
Haleem | December 7, 2009 at 6:27 pm
Specs, er, now I feel old. Naaahiiiiiii!
Neena, nah, I am mean.